Does Your Spouse Refer Business to You?


posted by on Prospecting & SOI

Does your spouse confidently and cheerfully refer you to everyone he knows who has a real estate need? Yes? Good for you! You can move onto the next blog on your list. You don’t need me today!

But if you answered “no,” do you know why he or she doesn’t? Do you know the real reason?

Neither do I. But I’m going to throw something out there that you are free to accept or reject.

Do you come home every night complaining about your real estate career? Do you… um… whine about how awful the market is, or about how little training you’re getting from your broker? Do you bemoan the fact that the last 10 FSBOs you contacted hung up on you before you could even begin your sales pitch?

Or, conversely, do you bounce in the door at night, bubbling with enthusiasm, ready to share your latest success story or lesson learned?

In my SOI* writings, I urge agents to prove to their friends that they are an RCHB, which stands for a “Reasonably Competent Human Being.” If your friends perceive you as an RCHB, they’ll be happy to hire you, or to refer business your way. If they don’t perceive you as such, they probably won’t. Makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, referring business to a friend is a risky thing to do – no one wants to be responsible for a referral that goes badly, so we’re all a little circumspect about who we have on our personal referral lists.

Here’s the thing… the cold hard fact is that your spouse is no different. He has a social network that is important to him. She doesn’t want to jeopardize her friendships and business relationships with a referral that goes sour. Neither does he want to be seen as “that pesky real estate agent’s husband” to be avoided at parties!

So, what’s the answer?

It’s up to you to prove to your husband or wife that you are an RCHB who loves selling real estate and is darn good at it. And you don’t “prove” this by telling him or her how great you are, you have to demonstrate it in your attitude and your enthusiasm.

Am I asking you to fake it? Well… not really, but… 

Frankly, if you aren’t an RCHB and you don’t have a fair amount of enthusiasm about your career, you’ll probably fail, with or without your spouse’s referred business. The question really isn’t “should I fake it?” but rather “how can I change my attitude?”

Now, if you don’t need or want your spouse’s support in your real estate career, then feel free to use him or her as your nightly sounding board to vent your frustrations on. It’s okay, really! We all need someone to cry to. Just know that doing this puts your spouse in a difficult position when it comes to drumming up business for his beloved…

*SOI = Sphere of Influence = People Who Know You

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