Posts Tagged ‘Love & Real Estate’

posted by on Prospecting & SOI

A good friend of mine dabbles in the online dating world from time to time. And as an old married woman, I get to enjoy the “fun” of singlehood vicariously through her dating adventures, online and otherwise.

Anyway, the other day she sent me a promotional email she received from a new online site she’s trying out – basically, it’s a form letter the site graciously supplies that, with the touch of a button, you can send out to “thousands of other singles” introducing yourself to get the romantic ball rolling.

Um, well.

My friend had already received a few of these introductory form letters and was, shall we say, less than impressed. Call us sensitive, but we women like to think that a man who has an interest in us might actually take the time to peruse our profile (yes, I’ve been out there too) to see if, indeed, there is some potential for romance…and then take the “trouble” to actually comment on something they saw there.

Okay, okay, I know the argument. Dating is a numbers game and the more stuff you throw against the wall and all of that, but don’t we say the same thing about marketing our businesses? And then implement the stuff-throwing and numbers-gaming strategies… and wonder why they don’t work? Or why we feel like we’re doing more annoying-the-public than inspiring-the-public (to support our business)?

There IS a better way! Yes, it takes more time and energy to approach ONE person at a time, whether that’s with a “I’d like to know more about you” note or a “I’d like to see if I can help you” offer, but at the end of the day… would you rather have annoyed (or been ignored by) 100 potential mates/clients… or impressed one?

And imagine if you “impressed” one person a day…for a year… versus annoyed 100 people a day…for a year…

Impressed approach: 365 people who think you’re cool

Annoyed approach: 36,500 people who think you’re annoying (or have totally forgotten about you).


posted by on Prospecting & SOI

Welcome to Part Two of SOI and the Single Gal (read Part One here)

Ten Ways SOI is like Dating:

  1. When you leave the house, you never know who you might meet. So put on lipstick, comb your hair and put on some sexy jeans. If you feel good about you, others can’t help but notice and be drawn to you. Conversely, if you’re slouching around Wal-Mart in your baggy sweats, bed-head hair and morning breath, people will most certainly keep their distance!
  2. Be nice to everyone you meet. You never know if their brother or sister or aunt or uncle or mother or father needs someone just like you, right now!
  3. Be nice to everyone you meet, Part II. Even though this person may not appear to be Your Type at first glance, you never know where it might lead if you give it a chance.
  4.  Be nice to everyone you meet, Part III. Get in the habit of being pleasant to everyone who crosses your path and you’ll be READY when you come face to face with THE ONE.
  5. Get out of the house. Sure, online prospects are low-risk and plentiful, but nothing beats that rush of physical chemistry and intellectual rapport.
  6. Go where other people are. Preferably to places where people talk to each other and feel good. The dog park, concerts in the park, happy hour, Water World, high school football games…
  7. Play it cool. Don’t put all your (business) cards on the table until the other person asks to see them.
  8. Don’t put your friends on the spot asking them to match them up. Okay, maybe ask ONCE if you must, but never mention it again. Feel free, however, to discuss your life (in a positive, upbeat, confident voice) with your friends, including all the great fun you’re having meeting new people!
  9. Be ready for the roller coaster. Euphoria and despair will be your companions on a daily basis. It’s part of the fun!
  10. Strive for that elusive balance between overly eager and underly responsive. Playing a little hard to get can make you appear more desirable, as long as you’re WORTH waiting for!

posted by on Random (Un)Common Sense

I’ve been watching Sex, Lies & Videotapes on DVD this week. Remember this movie? No? Well, it was made in 1989 so probably many of you missed it due to your crazy elementary school schedule. Anyway, earlier this week I promised to help out the more introverted among us with some tips for “smoothly closing” our clients when it’s the right thing to do and lo and behold… right there on my movie screen is a perfect example of a Soulful Assumptive Close! So, I’ll start there.

In the movie, Graham (james spader) asks Cynthia (laura san giacomo) to let him videotape her. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that she’s intrigued, yet a little unsure. She wants to do it – that’s clear – but she’s uncomfortable coming right out and saying so.

Cynthia asks a series of delaying tactic questions (“How long will it take?” “Do I sit or stand?” “Will anyone else ever see this tape?”). Graham quietly answers her questions and at the same time, casually picks up his video camera, loads a tape and sets up the tripod. He sits down in an easy chair and gestures for her to relax on the sofa. He turns the camera on and begins asking questions. She can either answer them, thus agreeing to be videotaped, or refuse to answer, thus declining to be videotaped. The power was always in her hands; Graham just made it easy for her to say yes.

Fade Out

The Assumptive Close is defined as “acting as if the prospect has already made the decision”. What you’re supposed to do is to move the conversation toward the next steps without waiting for permission or a specific request to do so. Typical examples of the assumptive close in real estate include:

“Would you like to ask for the refrigerator in your offer? ”
“Would this Friday be good to go on the market?”
“Let’s meet back at the office in an hour to review the comparables”

When done respectfully and with the right intentions, the assumptive close will be welcomed by your buyer, seller or prospect. They’ll be relieved you took control and will enthusiastically follow your direction. They’ll happily go where you lead and love you for it.

And of course, they still have the power to say no or to halt the process, and certainly you should respect their wishes if they do so.

In the example I used in my previous blog, how could the shipboard hairstylist soulfully closed me on the Overpriced Facial or the Total Body Detoxification and Purification Experience? Easy, right? She could have picked up her appointment book and simply showed me what times were available. How hard is that? Or she could have shown me a brochure of the various types of facials offered and asked which one I wanted. Neither of these tactics are pushy or aggressive. I still made the final decision; she just made it easy on me.

For the Reluctant Salespeople among us, using the assumptive close should come naturally with a little practice. Try using it in other areas of your life if you’re uncomfortable experimenting with your clients. When it works, it’s a beautiful thing!

posted by on Random (Un)Common Sense

As a follow-up to yesterday’s blog about high school dating, loyalty and the wonderful world of real estate sales…roses

A few weeks ago, I was watching The Bachelorette (yeah, I know, spare me the eye-rolls) and there was a scenario where the Bachelorette had a one-on-one date with one of the hopeful bachelors. The rules of the game say that if the Bachelorette does not give the guy a rose during the one-on-one date, he has to go home – in other words, he’s been eliminated.

As the bachelor was preparing for his date he said something like “I’m a little nervous about this date; what if there’s no chemistry and she sends me home?


Last time I checked, it’s not much fun dating someone with whom you have no chemistry. In fact, it’s pretty darned awful. Even if a guy or gal is the most gorgeous creature on the planet, if there’s no connection, what’s the point? Dating is a two-way street; in the real world, anyway, we evaluate each other during the process and either party is entitled to make the decision to move forward or not. If the answer is “not,” we thank the other person for their time, move on and are grateful we have the freedom to do so!

It’s similar in our business, although when there’s money involved, we can probably put up with a bit more relationship angst! But I often see agents pushing for a listing or a buyer agency agreement — even when they aren’t necessarily the right (wo)man for the job, or they recognize that the buyer or seller is clearly going to be difficult.

I’m sure a lot of it is ego… we want to win that lover or client, even if we suspect it’s a relationship headed for nowhere. And that’s fine – I’m as competitive as anyone and sometimes I just want to WIN, even if the prize isn’t something I actually want.

But when you don’t win – when the other person selects against you, trust that they made the right decision for them. Support that decision and you may end up with a lifelong friend — which is nothing to sneeze at!

posted by on Introverts Are Awesome!

Got a great question from a reader yesterday!sad face

NH writes:

Dear Jennifer,

What do you do when your spouse doesn’t get the SWS* [Sell with Soul] concept? My husband is a born salesman if you know what I mean. He has no problem striking up a conversation with anyone, in fact I get some leads from him because he isn’t ashamed to brag about me and refer me. I feel blessed to have someone who believes in me so much and supports my career. But we have now had two heated discussions because I was explaining the SWS concept and why I thought it was the perfect thing for my personality (which is the total opposite from his) and he started “coaching” me on how to get out  there and to face things that scare me; cold calling, door knocking, etc. He said, “Everything can’t be all fun and there are things in every one’s job that they don’t like. You can’t always take the easy route” (when it comes to lead generation).

You probably know how I was feeling. I’m not sure what to say anymore because every time we discuss it, someone ends up getting hurt. Has anyone else had this problem, if not with someone close to them, maybe a team leader, broker, or fellow agent?


Oh, yeah, NH, I SO feel your pain! I’ve dealt with this all my life, although not as much anymore because I can throw the “I wrote a book about it!” card around. The thing is, extroverts often really don’t understand us – they just think we’re wussing out when we refuse to do things that make us uncomfortable. I’ve had my share of knock-down, drag-out fights myself over my more reserved personality, and, like yours, they always end badly.

I believe that a large percentage of the real estate failures (that is, agents who enter the business and then quit) are due to the cookie-cutter training that insists there’s only one path to success, regardless of one’s personality. That simply ain’t true. Once a salesperson (regardless of his or her product) acknowledges, accepts and even celebrates his natural God-given talents and interests, he can blossom doing things HIS way.

But force him to do it THEIR way and he’ll almost certainly fail. It’s not a matter of being stubborn or stupid or lazy or wussy. We introverts just have a different perspective on the world and the people in it. It’s not better, it’s not inferior; it’s just different.

NH – I’ll chat with you more about this offline, but thanks for the Monday morning blog material!

Any fellow Introverts (or Extroverts married to Introverts) have any tips for us? (Other than “suck it up” – we’ve heard that one before!)

* When I advise agents to “Sell with Soul” it simply means (among other things) that they should stay true to who they are, whether they are introverts, extroverts or something in the middle. But many introverts equate SWS to introversion because the SWS philosophy is one of the few that acknowledges the fact that introverts can be successful selling real estate. However, to clarify, you don’t have to be an introvert to  Sell with Soul!!!!

posted by on Jennifer's Best, Prospecting & SOI

It occurs to me that running an SOI* business is a lot like dating. I’m thankfully no longer in the dating world, but I remember it well. Trying to figure out where Mr. Right might be hanging out that day. Pondering who among my friends would give me that magic referral to the man who was The One. Trying to find the elusive balance between approachable friendliness… and aloof-hard-to-get-ness. The roller coaster ride of euphoric highs followed by crushing lows.

When you’re dating, you’re bombarded with advice. Such as… it’s a good idea for a marriage-minded woman to ask a man on the first date if he’s similarly-inclined. If no, NEXT! If you see children in your future, you should make sure every man you have coffee with feels the same way. Before the second cup. How about announcing to all your friends that you are now Single and Available, and demand that they find you a mate?

Of course, there is the other camp which tells women to take the hard-to-get game to the extreme. Never return phone calls, never change your plans to meet a man on short notice, and never discuss the future.

When you begin your SOI business (that is, generating business and referrals from the Very Important People Who Know You), you are also given all sorts of advice, most of which makes no sense if you evaluate it from your gut. You are told to tell everyone you meet that you sell real estate and that you Love Referrals. Over and over again. That you should remind your friends constantly of that fact. That you should push your business card on anyone within shouting distance. That you should categorize your friends in order of importance – that is, how likely they are to refer to you – and socialize with them accordingly.

In short, PUSH your agenda on your SOI instead of allowing things to unfold and develop naturally.

If you interrogate a typical guy about his plans for your future together on your first (or tenth) date, he’ll likely run for the hills regardless of his feelings on the matter. The same thing will probably happen if you assault every new acquaintance with your business card and elevator speech.

If you beg your friends to play matchmaker, they may silently wonder why you’re so desperate, and be unwilling to subject their USDA Prime Choice male friends to that desperation (after all, matchmaking often backfires on the matchmaker!). Just like when you beg your friends for referrals (er, sorry, frequently remind them), they may question your professionalism and wonder why you don’t already have all the business you need. Yeah, people do think this way, don’t you?

Of course, there’s that fine line between enthusiastically letting your SOI know you’re open for business … and putting your friends on the spot, both in your professional and your personal life. Finding that balance may be an ongoing struggle, but here are some tips:

  • Don’t attend a party or function with the sole intent of handing out your business cards. Attend with the idea that you will meet lots of nice people, and may have enough rapport with a few to pursue a relationship. Leave your business cards in the car and just relax.
  • If a friend hasn’t referred you, after your repeated requests that she do so, there may be a reason. Drop it – if you want to keep the friendship alive.
  • Wait for people to ask you what you do for a living. Answer enthusiastically and see if there’s any interest. If not, talk about the weather or the yummy shrimp kabobs.
  • Don’t send a letter to your SOI simply asking for referrals. In fact, don’t ask for referrals at all. There are much better ways to get that point across than flat-out asking.
  • Your friends will be happy to refer you (or hire you) if you seem to be a Reasonably Competent Human Being who enjoys selling real estate. You can’t tell people this, you have to show them. Show up on time (with a smile on your face!), return phone calls promptly and do what you say you’re going to do.
  • Don’t ever whine about the real estate market. To anyone. Ever.

Being a positive, upbeat, confident person who believes in her heart that She’s All That will attract plenty of business from both friends and strangers.

Oh, and this strategy works well with men, too.

 *SOI = Sphere of Influence = People Who Know You

posted by on Prospecting & SOI

Does your spouse confidently and cheerfully refer you to everyone he knows who has a real estate need? Yes? Good for you! You can move onto the next blog on your list. You don’t need me today!

But if you answered “no,” do you know why he or she doesn’t? Do you know the real reason?

Neither do I. But I’m going to throw something out there that you are free to accept or reject.

Do you come home every night complaining about your real estate career? Do you… um… whine about how awful the market is, or about how little training you’re getting from your broker? Do you bemoan the fact that the last 10 FSBOs you contacted hung up on you before you could even begin your sales pitch?

Or, conversely, do you bounce in the door at night, bubbling with enthusiasm, ready to share your latest success story or lesson learned?

In my SOI* writings, I urge agents to prove to their friends that they are an RCHB, which stands for a “Reasonably Competent Human Being.” If your friends perceive you as an RCHB, they’ll be happy to hire you, or to refer business your way. If they don’t perceive you as such, they probably won’t. Makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, referring business to a friend is a risky thing to do – no one wants to be responsible for a referral that goes badly, so we’re all a little circumspect about who we have on our personal referral lists.

Here’s the thing… the cold hard fact is that your spouse is no different. He has a social network that is important to him. She doesn’t want to jeopardize her friendships and business relationships with a referral that goes sour. Neither does he want to be seen as “that pesky real estate agent’s husband” to be avoided at parties!

So, what’s the answer?

It’s up to you to prove to your husband or wife that you are an RCHB who loves selling real estate and is darn good at it. And you don’t “prove” this by telling him or her how great you are, you have to demonstrate it in your attitude and your enthusiasm.

Am I asking you to fake it? Well… not really, but… 

Frankly, if you aren’t an RCHB and you don’t have a fair amount of enthusiasm about your career, you’ll probably fail, with or without your spouse’s referred business. The question really isn’t “should I fake it?” but rather “how can I change my attitude?”

Now, if you don’t need or want your spouse’s support in your real estate career, then feel free to use him or her as your nightly sounding board to vent your frustrations on. It’s okay, really! We all need someone to cry to. Just know that doing this puts your spouse in a difficult position when it comes to drumming up business for his beloved…

*SOI = Sphere of Influence = People Who Know You

posted by on Prospecting & SOI

A major fear of beginning an SOI* Seduction campaign is that your targets (that is, the people who know you) will see right through your attempts at friendship and know that you’re trying to “seduce” them.

So, let’s talk about Seduction for a moment. 
Even when I’m aware I’m being seduced, I certainly enjoy the ride. I mean, if my man were to come home tonight and outright announce he was expecting some action, I might be put off by his approach. I might feel a little used. However, if he came home with roses, gave me a big hug and kiss, helped me clear the table and then took out the trash, his chances of getting lucky would dramatically increase, wouldn’t they?

So what if I know what he’s up to?

Or imagine a young man takes a young woman out on a date. If he were to ask her up front if he’s going to get lucky that night, she would probably be offended, even though it’s likely she realizes it’s in the back of his mind. So, the smart young man takes a different approach. He is charming. He is friendly. He is appreciative. He is attentive. He is complimentary. He is respectful. In short, he’s good company and makes her feel special. He’s fun to be around.

Will his seduction efforts pay off? Who knows? But he’s sure a whole lot closer than if he had just announced his intentions up front. Again, the young woman probably knows she’s being “seduced” but she’s enjoying it.

So, let’s compare a romantic seduction to the process of seducing your SOI. Fact is you want something from your SOI. You want their business and referrals. You want to be invited to their parties. You want to be their favorite real estate agent, don’t you?

Well, you could always call up everyone you know and tell them, couldn’t you? Remind them on the first Monday of each month that You {Heart} Referrals? Ask them if they know of anyone buying or selling real estate? Maybe even ask them for an invitation to their next social gathering?

But do you think they’d look forward to hearing from you? Do you think they’d appreciate your approach? Probably not; in fact, they might start avoiding your calls.

What if you were to call up your friends every month or two and ask how they’re doing and really listen? Maybe even offer to help or send out periodic informative e-mails or newsletters of interest to them instead of all about you. What if you invited your friends to your Super Bowl party or sent them a postcard from your vacation in Cancun?

Would your friends realize you want their business and referrals? Maybe, but they won’t care – you are making them feel special and cared about. Besides that, you’re fun to be around! 

Seduction works in a romantic arena; it also works in a prospecting one. If we are charming, friendly, appreciative, attentive, complimentary, respectful and fun to be around (and also reliable and competent), we’ll get our friends’ business and referrals. We don’t have to beg for it; we really don’t even need to ask for it.

Give it some thought.

*SOI Seduction = Sphere of Influence = To generate business and referrals from the people who know you.


posted by on Prospecting & SOI

I have a friend; let’s call her Sarah. She is a new real estate agent and is committed to an SOI* strategy to build her business. So far, it’s going well – she’s already experiencing some success and is optimistic that she will survive her first year without ever cold-calling, door-knocking, farming or advertising.

Here’s the problem. Sarah has a new boyfriend. When said boyfriend couplerealized that Sarah freely hands out her phone number (in the form of her business card) to anyone who asks (regardless of gender), he was horrified. Not that he doesn’t understand she has a business to build, but he’s convinced that when Sarah cheerfully offers her phone number/business card to those of the male gender, they are going to assume that she is interested in them romantically. “That’s the way men think, honey.”

Sarah dismissed his concerns, assuring him that she keeps her SOI efforts on a professional level and that there is no funny business going on – either real or imagined. She simply doesn’t believe that the men she prospects to have any notion that she might be open to their advances.  The boyfriend disagrees. It’s causing some strain in their relationship.

Sarah asked me for my thoughts. Initially I agreed with her – that the BF needs to accept that his honey is in a business that requires her to socialize with male creatures.

But then I ran across a paragraph in a book I’m reading about the differences in brain chemistry between men and women and it made me rethink my position. The book said that “…men are very easily aroused and easily misconstrue the slightest hint of friendship as a sexual invitation.” So I asked my own BF for his thoughts, as well as a couple of other men I know. They all adamantly agreed with Sarah’s boyfriend that if a woman shows friendly interest in a man, he’s absolutely going to interpret that as romantic interest on her part. If she gives him her phone number? She might as well have invited him in for a late-night coffee…

Any thoughts? No gender-bashing or ridicule, please. I’d love to hear from the men in the crowd how you honestly feel about this, as well as from any women who have experienced the same thing with their men…


* SOI Strategy = Building your business based on the personal relationiships in your life – the people you know and people you meet.

posted by on Prospecting & SOI

LoveA few months ago, I saw a post on a real estate forum that made me LOL. ROTLMAO actually. And ask myself – seriously? Seriously?

The thread was extolling the virtues of high-octane cold-calling. Serious cold-calling. Cold-calling to the tune of several hundred (yes, hundred) calls a day (yes, a day). Proponents of the method regaled the rest of us with their stories of successes; of listing appointments won and offers accepted and deals closed.

A few brave souls (myself included) tried to introduce alternatives to high-octane cold-calling for those who might not be as comfortable disrupting hundreds of unwilling phone-answers every day, but we were routinely shot down with attacks on our courage, our commitment and our work ethic.

Ah well.

Here was the gist of the thread and that had me rolling my eyes, slapping my head and wondering if our industry has lost its mind.

The post-er presented the following analogy as a way of illustrating the beauty of the cold-calling method as a way to build a real estate business.

He asked:

“If you were a single guy, which of the following two methods do you think would be more effective in finding a girlfriend?

Option 1: Sit at home watching football and drinking beer, or

Option 2: Line up 100 women and ask each of them out for coffee?”

Um. Well.

I’m thinking that these 100 lined-up women might….

  1. Think the guy is a total idiot, and/or
  2. Think the guy must be awfully desperate, and/or
  3. Think the guy is really annoying, and/or
  4. Think the guy is utterly pathetic, and/or
  5. Feel uncomfortably like a number in this guy’s game.

So, I guess the analogy continues like this:

“If you were a hungry real estate agent, which of the following two methods do you think would be more effective for finding good business?”

Option 1: Sit at your office waiting for the phone to ring, or

Option 2: Call 100 random strangers and ask them if they need a real estate agent?”

Y’think there might be a third option? Maybe even a fourth? One that doesn’t make you look desperate, annoying or pathetic?

Yeah, I think there just might be.

posted by on Prospecting & SOI


Had a conversation with my DBF’s 17 year old daughter about dating. She’s going into her senior year of high school and is involved in her first serious relationship. Two months already! I, being a way-out-of-touch-42-year-old asked her if teenagers still “go together” officially or if they date casually – as in – more than one person at a time.

She looked at me as if I were a loon and explained that yes, they “go together” and it’s unheard of for a teenager to date more than one person – that would be called “cheating” or worse.

Fair enough – that’s how it was in my high school days; probably in yours, too. After all, high school is a micro-culture and it would be pretty tough to have two boyfriends without causing a ruckus in English class or at the football game.

But as we get older and begin to look for a lifetime mate, we realize the wisdom of shopping around. Of not committing to someone after a date or two. Of not pledging “loyalty” to a virtual stranger. Heck, in the real world, you could date someone different every night of the week and two on Sundays without ever hurting a feeling. And perhaps you should. After all, you’re on the hunt to find just the right person for you and the only way to do that is to explore your options.

During our collective searches for The One, someone’s gonna get hurt. Someone’s gonna get dumped. Someone’s gonna feel misled. It’s happened to all of us and we’ve done it to others, probably more than once. It’s part of the process of finding The Right One for each of us.

And if I date five men and reject four of them in favor of the one I like most, have I done something wrong?

No, I haven’t, not even if those other four men are disappointed. Not even if I went out with some of them more than once. Not even if I shared personal information with them and they shared some with me. (Of course, this assumes I haven’t made promises to anyone I didn’t intend to keep.)

It’s the same in our business. Our prospects are out there in the world searching for just The Right One to do business with. They’re visiting open houses, asking for references from friends, and dropping in at real estate offices in hopes of finding someone they can see themselves working with for an extended period of time. During their investigation period, they will share personal information; they’ll allow the agent to provide free advice and they might even indicate an interest in seeing the agent again. It’s part of the process and they should be allowed, even encouraged, to do so. The fact that they’re “dating around” should not be construed to mean that they are “disloyal” people who are not to be trusted.

And yes, when they do select one agent over the others, the others may be hurt. They might even rant about the experience in a blog or around the coffee machine. They might proclaim the need for an earlier discussion of Buyer Agency and a commitment to enforce tighter “rules” in the future. They may even complain about the lack of loyalty among the general public.

My friends, no one owes us loyalty unless they’ve overtly promised it to us. We earn loyalty and we continue to earn it throughout the course of a relationship. If you get dumped (or better said “selected against) by a prospect, trust that the prospect found someone they were more compatible with and be happy for them. Move on, continue to trust the process, and don’t lose hope that the Right One (actually, several “ones”) is/are out there looking for you. Because they are. Put on your happy face and jump right back in!

posted by on An Exceptional Agent

A long time ago, in my early 20’s (egads, nearly 20 years ago), I was dating an equally young lad from Ireland. He was planning a “holiday” (as they say in Ireland) back home for three weeks. As an insecure young lass, I was terribly worried that he would meet back up with his high school sweetheart and, OMG, CHEAT on

So, I did what every other immature young woman with a boyfriend does… I whined, I pouted, I threatened, I begged him not to cheat on me while he was gone. Every day for a month, I “reminded” him that he had to be good while away. Ugh. I’m embarrassed just thinking about it.

Then one day, my slightly more mature roommate said the magic words to me: “Jennifer, you need to BE the person your boyfriend wouldn’t dream of cheating on.”


Okay, I promised this would relate to real estate, so let’s rewrite my little story.

A long time ago, in my early late 20’s (egads, nearly 20 12 years ago), I was dating starting up a real estate career in an equally young lad from Ireland Denver Colorado and was trying to drum up business for myself He was planning a “holiday” (as they say in Ireland) back home for three weeks. As an insecure young lass new real estate agent, I was terribly worried that he my friends would meet back up with his high school sweethearts refer their business to someone else and, OMG, CHEAT on me.

So, I did what every other immature young woman new real estate agent with a boyfriend does… I whined, I pouted, I threatened, I begged him my friends not to cheat on me while he was gone when they had a house to buy or sell. On the first Monday of every Every day for a month, I “reminded” him them that they he had to be good while away should remember how much I love referrals and how hurt I would be if they cheated*. Ugh. I’m embarrassed just thinking about it.

Then one day, my slightly more mature roommate inner voice said the magic words to me: “Jennifer, you need to BE the person agent your boyfriend friends wouldn’t dream of cheating on.”


You can whine, pout, threaten, beg or just “remind,” to get what you want OR you can simply BE such a terrific girlfriend real estate agent that your boyfriend friends wouldn’t dream of going anywhere else.

*I’m stretching the truth here for dramatic effect. I actually never did implement these referral-begging tactics in my career, but it makes the story much better to say I did…