Posts Tagged ‘Resetting Your Mindset’

posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

As we often do, after a particularly insightful :-) SWS/Simple teleseminar we survey the audience to get feedback on what they felt were the most meaningful, helpful or motivating tips or strategies from the program.

Last week’s show was called Resetting Your Mindset where  Blake Farley and I shared more than a dozen tips & strategies for cultivating and maintaining a more positive outlook on life, thus creating a more positive reality in life! It was a fabulous show, if I do say so myself!

And… here are your Favorit-est Tips!

Favorit-est Tip #1: The unbelievable power of your words – the words you use in speaking, writing and thinking. Speak/write/think negatively… and you’ll get more negativity in your life to speak about. Speak/write/think positively and watch wonderful things unfold!

Favorit-est Tip #2: “Silver Lining Thinking” – when challenged, always take a moment to look for the bright spots (silver lining) and/or what valuable lesson this problem/situation/challenge taught you.

Favorit-est Tip #3: The power of the personal mantra. When faced with a problem, instead of freaking out and assuming the worst, say to yourself: “I will figure this out; I always do,” or “I will get it all done; I always do,” or “I will find the money, I always do.”

Favorit-est Tip #4: When in a stressful situation (especially when others are involved), “change the scenary” – step away and return to the issue later.

Favorit-est Tip #5: Stop sighing and smile!

Other tips from the show included:

  • Set and quietly enforce boundaries
  • Don’t vent (NO! Venting is NOT good for the soul!)
  • BASK in your successes

posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

I want you to take moment… next time you have a free one… and think about something that’s bothering you. Something that’s worrying you, that’s keeping you awake at night, that’s always on your mind and bringing you down.

I’m guessing it’s pretty easy to do, huh? Not too many of us suffer from a LACK of things to worry about, right!?

Okay, now… voice your worry. Say it out loud.

For example: “I’m worried because I don’t have any prospects in the pipeline and don’t know where my next closing is going to come from.

Or… how about: “I’m so busy right now I can’t keep up. I don’t know how I’m going to get everything done and I’m scared something is going to fall through the cracks.”

Or (from my doggie rescue world): “The shelter is so full and the dogs just keep coming. There’s no way we can save them all – some days it feels hopeless.”

Next step… take that worry statement and turn it into a believable positive. For example:

I don’t have any clients right now, but that’ll change soon enough. It always does – it always works out even when it seems it won’t! I’m not worried.”

Or… “I have a lot to do, but somehow it all gets done. I don’t know how I do it, but I always come through!”

Or (my favorite rescue mantra): “We make miracles happen every day! I don’t know how we do it, but we’ll just keeping doing what we’re doing!”

Did you notice how different you felt when speaking the worry statement out loud versus thebelievable positive one? Did your body relax? Did your mind clear? Did you maybe stand up a little straighter and even smile to yourself?

I know I do… when I find myself worrying about something, I try to remember to turn it into a believable positive statement and when I do… the whole world seems brighter. And I feel a sense of power over my troubles that gives me the edge I need to make my believable positive statement a reality! 

Give it a try…

posted by on Random (Un)Common Sense

Did a neat little show in the SWS Virtual Studio called “Creating a Low-Drama Real Estate Business!” You can read more about it here.

As we often do during SWS Teleseminars, I asked the audience to tell me what their favorit-est tip from the show was – what they learned that made them say “Wow! That’s the most brilliant thing I’ve heard all day!” or something to that effect.

Well… I have tallied up the results and here they are:

Favorit-est Tip #1
Recreate your belief system about your business, and therefore, your reality. Write down (on an index card) what you DON’T like about your business and turn it into an affirmation of what you’d like instead. For example, if you’re frustrated that your transactions fall apart so often, you would write on one side of the card something like: “I hate it that I work so hard on my deals and then they fall apart.” Then, on the other side, write: “It’s amazing how often my transactions stay together even when problems arise. I love being able to solve the problems or even head them off before they become potential deal-breakers.” Put your affirmation in YOUR words; words that feel natural and make you feel good when you say them out loud. And watch your reality change like magic!

Favorit-est Tip #2
Change your beliefs about what your reality is and get more of what you want. But if you hold onto negative beliefs, you’ll get more of what you don’t want. “Worrying is praying for what you DON’T want!”

Favorit-est Tip #3
Watch Your Language. Stop complaining about your clients and telling dramatic stories about all the things that are going wrong. While it can be entertaining to share horror stories, it might be creating more of them to tell, which is NOT what you want!

Favorit-est Tip #4
Bask in your successes. When something good happens; when you do something right; when you’re feeling proud of yourself… take a moment to ENJOY the moment. Relish it, luxuriate in it, appreciate it. FEEL how good you’re feeling!

Favorit-est Tip #5
Don’t take overpriced listings! ‘Nuff said.

Favorit-est Tip #6
Appreciate a negative experience for the lessons learned, take steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again and move on. No need to dwell on mistakes or be traumatized by them.

Favorit-est Tip #7
When presented with a problem or dilemma, ask yourself if this is truly your problem to solve. If so, stay calm and visualize the perfect resolution and work toward it. If it is NOT (and that will often be the case), gracefully decline to take responsibility for the problem and politely hand it back to the person whose problem it IS to handle. (Related Reading: the Declining the Monkey series).

posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

mojoI have writer’s block. Oh, I can bang out a blog or two without much angst, but anything more labor-intensive seems beyond my capacity right now.

Unfortunately, I’m working on a brand new book and I’ve set some aggressive goals for myself (2,000-3,000 words a day which will have the book finished up in two months if I stick to it), so this disinterest in writing has me a bit concerned. And frustrated. Even a little scared. I’m sure you can relate.

So, I’m taking a mental break, quietly trying to remember what inspired me to write Sell with Soul in the first place. How was I feeling when I began the project? I mean, writing an 80,000-word book is a big undertaking! What on earth made me want to take that on back in 2003?

Well, let’s see. In 2003, I was a full-time real estate agent, making plenty of money. I was newly divorced with extra time on my hands. A friend of mine, who had just gotten her real estate license, casually mentioned to me that I should write a book about how to be a good real estate agent, since she hadn’t gotten any such instruction in real estate school, or in her Big Name company training.

So, I figured, what the heck? I’ll write a book about how to be a good real estate agent! And Sell with Soul was born.

I didn’t write Sell with Soul to make money. I didn’t need to make money writing – I had plenty from my real estate business. I didn’t write Sell with Soul to get famous. I didn’t write Sell with Soul to inspire a revolution or even to change anyone’s mind. I had no real goals or expectations at all, other than to HELP NEW AGENTS SUCCEED SELLING REAL ESTATE.

Fast forward to today. I no longer sell real estate and I’m a full-time writer. It’s my job. It’s how I make my living. To eat, I need to write. I now have goals, I now have expectations, heck, I wouldn’t even mind starting a little soulful revolution.

In short, it’s different now. I look at writing as a means to an end – that is – a financial end. As I write, I wonder how “sellable” the message is, not how “helpful” my words might be to those who need to hear them. I’ve shifted from wanting to create something useful to needing to create something marketable.

Thus… my writer’s block.

Old Fogies (those of you who sold real estate during happier times), do you remember the feeling of looking at your prospects and clients as people you could help, rather than deals that would (fingers crossed) pay your mortgage? Remember when making that mortgage payment wasn’t dependent on your buyer buying or your listing closing? When you could truly put the needs of your clients FIRST because, frankly, your life wouldn’t change significantly if this or that deal didn’t close?

Selling real estate was a joy back then and for our beloved rookies – I hope you get to experience that joy of HELPING your clients reach their goals, without fussing too much over whether or not you get a juicy paycheck for your efforts. It’s a beautiful way to make a (good) living.

Because selling real estate well is a lot of fun and can be extremely satisfying. But when you’re desperate for a paycheck, your focus shifts and your attitude changes.

Can we recapture the servant’s attitude we had in days gone by? Can you? Can I?

Here’s MY plan. Every morning I’m going to sit quietly and clear my head of all the noise that’s accumulated there over the last 24 hours. I’m going to think about how my words might inspire, motivate or otherwise rev up a REAL person who needs my help. I’ll ask for guidance, direction and most importantly, a servant’s attitude.

If I do this, I think the rest will fall into place. Do you think this could work for you?

posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

Bad Mood

Two Saturdays ago, we finished up the Winter of Soul (a 12-session teleseminar program about topics of interest to the Sell with Soul crowd) with a show about Getting UNStuck – that is – how to regain your mojo when this business threatens to take you down. My favorite segment of the show was when we talked about how if you’re in a Bad Mood… you’re pretty much toast until you can snap out of it.

What do I mean by that? Well, if you’re feeling down in the dumps about your business, have you noticed that it only seems to get worse? You and your bad mood seem to attract more to be in a bad mood about. It’s an ugly, frustrating, discouraging death spiral. BAH!

But the good news is that the opposite is also true. If you can somehow resuscitate your mood so that you’re feeling chipper again, you and your good mood will attract even more to be in a good mood about!

And more good news, in our business at least, is that it really doesn’t take all that much to turn our day, our week or even our month around. One or two sweet referrals. A great open house. A call from a buyer who found you from your blog. And BAM! You’re feeling sexy, sassy and smart again. 

So what’s my point here?  

My point is that a lot of us (myself included) get all hysterical when things are going wrong and think we have to make a Big Change in order to turn things around. And that Big Change is, well, Big! And maybe scary. Maybe expensive. So, we either do nothing (and sink further into despair) or we make some not-too-well-thought-out Big Change that may be unnecessary and probably won’t work anyway.

Slow down. Don’t make any Big Change decisions out of fear, frustration or desperation. Don’t make any Big Change decisions until you’re … yes… in a good mood.

Does this sound ridiculously simple? Yeah, I know, it is. But think about it – how was your mood the last time you made a crummy decision? I don’t know about you, but I can name a dozen really dumb moves I’ve made in the last few years, all of which were decided upon when I was under stress. Conversely, my best decisions were made when I was feeling sassy, sexy and smart!

So, how do you go about finding your good mood? What will it take to get YOU feeling sassy, sexy and smart?

I dunno.

It’s different for everyone. I know what works for ME and if I can remember to do it when I’m feeling low, I can almost always turn my mood around. And once I’m feeling better, everything else seems to fall into place, which of course improves my mood even more!

Now, I’m not talking about some monumental shift in attitude. Just enough of a shift so that you can smile, laugh and be pleasant to those around you.

Just think about it. What TRULY cheers you up? Think outside the box – go beyond the obvious things like working out or eating chocolate. What REALLY works for you?


posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

Last weekend, we had a free teleseminar show in the SWS Virtual Studio called “Getting UNStuck.” It was co-hosted by me and my good friend Borino, and was about, among other things, regaining your mood and your mojo when this business threatens to get you down. Fun stuff (actually, it was).

During the show, Borino asked for a volunteer from the audience to help him demonstrate a little exercise to help you reset your mood when it’s not what it needs to be. Basically, he put our lovely volunteer (thank you Camille!) into a funk by asking her to recall a recent event that got her down.

He then snapped her out of her funk by abruptly changing the subject and then asking her to recall a recent event that made her happy. She was instructed to take herself back to that moment when she was feeling the happiness – how it felt, sounded, smelled, looked, etc. When she was “there” he asked her to express her happiness in some physical way – for example… the soccer player’s arms-in-the-air dance, Tiger Woods’ fist pump – anything physical that felt natural to her.

Camille confirmed (and we in the audience could hear it in her voice) that her mood improved dramatically and immediately.

Borino explained that the point of the exercise was to help find a physical “anchor” that you can call upon when you’re feeling down. As I understand it (and please correct me if I’m not getting this quite right), DOING that natural physical expression of happiness when you aren’t happy and energized can actually reset your mood so that you ARE happy and energized again.

I, quite cleverly, referred to this physical expression of happiness as your Happy Dance.

Anyway, we in the audience were instructed to do the Happy Dance exercise along with Camille. I, being a co-host and all, declined to participate since obviously I have it all together and don’t need such (as Borino calls it) “airy-fairy” techniques ;-]


Well, Sunday morning I was feelin’ kinda down. My stomach hurt, my fun plans for the day were threatened and I was behind on a project I really needed to have finished already. BLAH. So, while in the shower deciding whether or not to shave my legs (I didn’t), I decided to give this airy-fairy stuff a try. I did my own little Happy Dance right there in the shower.

Wow. Wow. Holy Moly.

I got a rush of energy I didn’t imagine I had in me. Got out of the shower, turned up the stereo full blast, continued dancing around the house getting ready for my wonderful, fabulous and productive day, scribbled down some ideas for articles and blogs, hugged the dogs, noticed my stomach didn’t hurt anymore and headed out the door to begin my wonderful, fabulous and productive day.

And a wonderful, fabulous, productive day it was.

Do you have a Happy Dance? Okay… 1, 2, 3, GO!

How do you feel now?


Don’t Let Your Bad Mood Lead You to a Bad Decision

posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

I have a new mantra. Assume the Best.Happy

This actually comes from my personal life where it’s been sorely needed for, oh, about 43 years now, but I recently started intentionally applying it to my business life (is there really a clear division between the two anyway?)

When someone does something that doesn’t make sense to you – something that irritates, inconveniences, hurts or offends you – do you automatically assume it was intentionally done to irritate, inconvenience, hurt or offend? Do you naturally filter through all the possibilities of why they did “it” and latch onto the one that makes them a bad guy or gal… and conveniently places you in the self-righteous role of victim?

I do, sometimes. Not always, but I can admit, it’s often the first line of defense when I’m confused by someone else’s words or actions. Since I was 13 years old I’ve known the power of the pout, the sulk and the whine to put the other person on the defensive (maybe that’s a female thing!) and although I’d love to say I’ve grown out of it… well… that would be a lie. Unfortunately, variations of pouting, sulking and whining still work in the hands of a master ;-]

But we’re all grown up now and operating in the real world with other imperfect human beings. And maybe it’s time to give those flawed human beings in our lives the benefit of the doubt. Not just because it’s the nice thing to do, but because in most cases, they deserve that benefit!

You know what? The world is not a hostile, dangerous place populated by human beings who wish to harm you. Trust in that reality and I think you’ll find it to be your reality… in life, love AND business!

Assume the Best, baby, Assume the Best…

posted by on Positive Thoughts for Tough Times

My long-term readers may remember what they’re about to read from one of my very first SWS newsletters.

I wrote it during a time where, in retrospect, I realize was one of the most stressful periods of my life. And while my life is no longer one big stress-fest, I know that many of you are struggling to keep your mood up and your Mojo intact. It’s a tough business we’re in!


Here is a simple trick I discovered that does some serious stress mitigation, takes almost no effort… and doesn’t include red wine or little white pills. Thought I’d share it with you in case you might need some help in that area right about now.   

Instead of sighing… I smile.  


When I’m under stress, I find that I sigh a lot. When I get out of bed in the morning, I sigh. As I brew my coffee, I sigh.  As I fire up my computer, I sigh. Y’know… a long, drawn out, woe is me — sigh.  As if the entire world is on my shoulders. Poor, poor, Jennifer.  

But lately, I’ve been trying something different. Instead of sighing, I smile! I probably look like an idiot, but it really doesn’t matter. I smile happily at my coffee pot. I do a little dance on the way to my desk. If I wake up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep, I get out of bed, put on a happy face and watch TV for awhile.  

Okay, so there’s nothing revolutionary about Turning That Frown Upside Down – we all know how important a positive attitude is to our happiness and success.  But yowsa! The power of smiling to myself has really caught me off-guard with the power it gives me over my mood. I just can’t help but feel better when there’s a smile on my face!   Give it a try.

The next time you find yourself getting ready to sigh… smile instead. And let me know if it has the same magic for you!


Happy Friday my friends!