The “Seduction” of Your Sphere of Influence… How Trying to Get Business is Kinda Like Trying to Get … uh…


posted by on Prospecting & SOI

A major fear of beginning an SOI* Seduction campaign is that your targets (that is, the people who know you) will see right through your attempts at friendship and know that you’re trying to “seduce” them.

So, let’s talk about Seduction for a moment. 
Even when I’m aware I’m being seduced, I certainly enjoy the ride. I mean, if my man were to come home tonight and outright announce he was expecting some action, I might be put off by his approach. I might feel a little used. However, if he came home with roses, gave me a big hug and kiss, helped me clear the table and then took out the trash, his chances of getting lucky would dramatically increase, wouldn’t they?

So what if I know what he’s up to?

Or imagine a young man takes a young woman out on a date. If he were to ask her up front if he’s going to get lucky that night, she would probably be offended, even though it’s likely she realizes it’s in the back of his mind. So, the smart young man takes a different approach. He is charming. He is friendly. He is appreciative. He is attentive. He is complimentary. He is respectful. In short, he’s good company and makes her feel special. He’s fun to be around.

Will his seduction efforts pay off? Who knows? But he’s sure a whole lot closer than if he had just announced his intentions up front. Again, the young woman probably knows she’s being “seduced” but she’s enjoying it.

So, let’s compare a romantic seduction to the process of seducing your SOI. Fact is you want something from your SOI. You want their business and referrals. You want to be invited to their parties. You want to be their favorite real estate agent, don’t you?

Well, you could always call up everyone you know and tell them, couldn’t you? Remind them on the first Monday of each month that You {Heart} Referrals? Ask them if they know of anyone buying or selling real estate? Maybe even ask them for an invitation to their next social gathering?

But do you think they’d look forward to hearing from you? Do you think they’d appreciate your approach? Probably not; in fact, they might start avoiding your calls.

What if you were to call up your friends every month or two and ask how they’re doing and really listen? Maybe even offer to help or send out periodic informative e-mails or newsletters of interest to them instead of all about you. What if you invited your friends to your Super Bowl party or sent them a postcard from your vacation in Cancun?

Would your friends realize you want their business and referrals? Maybe, but they won’t care – you are making them feel special and cared about. Besides that, you’re fun to be around! 

Seduction works in a romantic arena; it also works in a prospecting one. If we are charming, friendly, appreciative, attentive, complimentary, respectful and fun to be around (and also reliable and competent), we’ll get our friends’ business and referrals. We don’t have to beg for it; we really don’t even need to ask for it.

Give it some thought.

*SOI Seduction = Sphere of Influence = To generate business and referrals from the people who know you.


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